Care Is Not Just Survival

My last blog post talked about taking good care of yourself.

We talk a lot about taking care of ourselves … rest, boundaries, saying no, taking breaks. But sometimes we treat care like a reward we get after the work is done, like something we have to earn by being exhausted first. That’s survival mode, not self-care.

True care is not a prize for pushing yourself to the brink. It’s what allows you to show up in the first place. I’ll say it again…True care is not a prize for pushing yourself to the brink.

Somewhere along the way, we began to confuse endurance with strength. We’ve been taught to “keep going,” “push through,” and “handle it.” Especially as Black women, we’ve been socialized to carry the weight of everyone and everything. We measure our worth by what we produce, how much we give, and how well we endure. But survival is the bare minimum. You deserve more than the bare minimum.

Taking care of yourself is not about getting enough sleep just so you can wake up and grind again tomorrow. It’s about recognizing that your body and spirit deserve gentleness without conditions. You don’t need to cross off your to-do list before you rest. You don’t need to earn peace through productivity.

Care is your birthright. It’s how you reclaim your energy. It’s how you remind yourself that you are not a machine, you are a living being.

So yes, take care of yourself…but take care of yourself like you’re already worthy.
Because you are.