Reminders
Let me tell on myself real quick.
This past week, I found myself repeating some of the very same truths I often share with my clients…not in a “practice what you preach” kind of way, but more like a “girl, you needed to hear that too” moment.
The first one? “Why are you surprised when a duck quacks?”
Whew. I said this to a client who was disappointed by someone who’s always shown them who they are. This is someone who has a pattern of being inconsistent, dismissive, or just plain unavailable. And yet, every time that person does the same thing again, it still stings. I said as gently as I could, “Why are you surprised when a duck quacks?” As soon as I said it, I was like “ooooh, mele, that may not have been ‘massagy’ enough.” It was too late, though; it was out there.
Chile, last week, I got my feelings hurt in that same way. This person has always shown me who they were, and I just typically ignored it. And I was like dang..I was a little confused… until I heard my own words echo: “Why are you surprised when a duck quacks?”
ok, ok, ok…
Another one? “Isn’t it crazy how we allow one loud negative voice to drown out the many positive ones?”
I had a moment last week where multiple people shared positive things about how they experience me. I should have been like “ayeeeeeee”. But I was like “Remember…..?
And again, I had to stop and talk to myself like I would a client: Why are you letting that one be so loud?
Later, I had multiple clients commiserating about what people would ‘think’ about them and some of their choices (which in and of themselves weren’t bad choices; they were worried about how they would be perceived). I leaned back in my chair and said, “ya know, it’s crazy how we allow one loud negative voice to drown out the many positive ones sometimes, right?”
Sometimes the reminders we give others have to come back to hold us accountable or ground us…
So I’ll pass it on, just in case you need it too:
Don’t expect anything but a quack from a duck.
Don’t let the one negative voice be louder than the community cheering for you.
Don’t forget that you’re allowed to revisit the same lessons…there’s no shame in needing a reminder.
